Ko Ho’o Ngāhi Fehu’i
Your Questions

I’ve always wanted to write a book about my grandparents. They had such interesting lives, and I think it’s important that our family know about their experience. How do I write their story when they’re no longer with us, and no one in the family has any documents I can research?

Answer

What a great idea. Don’t be discouraged by thinking that there’s not enough written information. Not many Tongan families have detailed archives – diaries, letters etc. But we are great story tellers, and our history is told in family memories. There may also be some old photographs that family have kept.

My suggestion is to tap into this oral history for your book by talking to people who knew your loved ones.

There are several ways to begin. You can gather photographs from the family. Just make sure that you keep a clear record of who has given you each picture as well as who it shows. This is an excellent starting point for your work.

You can also construct a timeline of your loved ones’ lives. What they were doing, when and where and if possible, who they were with at the time.

Your goal at this stage is to identify people who knew your loved ones. I suggest that you make a list of people who knew them. You can begin this list from your own memories of key moments in their lives. Later you can ask other family about people who shared those experiences or knew your grandparents when they were growing up, going to school, starting work, moving overseas, etc etc.

The next stage will be to talk to these people and ask them to share their memories of your loved ones.

As you talk to people about your idea, you’re likely to find that they suggest others you should talk to. They may also be able to help you with information about how to contact these people.

Think of these discussions as you planting a seed, sharing your passion for the work. This in turn will inspire others to share their own ideas. Their enthusiasm will be a joy even if their ideas are not exactly what you were looking for. Enjoy it.

Finally, even at this beginning stage be systematic. Keep good records. It will make the actual work of writing and compiling your grandparents’ story much easier.